RUT...R.U.T.....truth be told.....

Beware….you are about to enter into a very sensitive place within the world of Becky…….back out now while you still can.

This is for everyone who THINKS blogs are all “hunky dory” my life is “wow” thoughts. This is NOT one of those posts. This is my reality right now.

I have been in a serious RUT for about 3 weeks now. About 9 years ago, my sister and I defined what the word “rut” really stands for. “Really Unwilling To change.” I have been lazy, negative, pessimistic, annoyed, and plain old ornery. I have worked hard at the job I get paid for, but besides that, blah. I have felt overwhelmed with life: house chaos, being a mom, work, family, swine flu mess, sleep issues, etc, that I have basically decided to cave to the pressures and “screw it.” Meaning: why try to work so hard daily, hourly. Why? Don’t get me wrong, I still take care of my daughter, she’s healthy, well fed, bathed, and put to sleep every night. She is learning, living, and just fine. I, on the other hand am not. I guess I’m admitting that it wouldn’t be so bad to have someone who makes sure I’m healthy, well fed, bathed, and put to sleep every night. Am I learning, living, and just fine? That’s debatable.

Those underlying questions that the universe revolves around are weighing heavily in my mind. “What is my purpose? Am I making the most out of my life? Where do I go from here? What should I be doing every day? What makes me happy? How can feel that happiness and love daily? Am I being the example, the loving parent, wife, sister, daughter, that I should be?”

My beliefs are not wavering, I have faith, and I know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers and loves me.

I am just extremely burnt out. I anticipate everyday for the energy and spit fire attitude (like Berkely exuberates), to come creeping back into my vains, and I am still waiting.
I let pressures from the world cloud my mind so easily. I don’t allow myself time to DO the things everyday that I know I need to do to stay focused. I hate feeling like I am becoming the type of person I have never wanted to become. I am very anti-social, love to stay in PJs all day, and am proud of myself when I remember to brush my teeth before I go to bed. Who lives like that? Me.

Sam took me to this memorial dinner the other night. It was a home health hospice agency honering all of their patients who had passed on last year. They had a little blurb about each person, while showing pictures of them on a slide show, and a harp playing songs in the back ground. It was a very touching experience, if you can only imagine. I sat there, listening to these blurbs thinking, “hmmmm, what in the heck would people say about me if I were to pass away right now.” These are a few things I came up with. “ Becky Semmens Seymour, always too busy to visit her family who lives 20 minutes away, yells at and spanks her daughter on occasion, spends way too much time on the computer, always on a diet, obsessed with her daughter's nap schedule, chews her fingernails to the brim, spends half her day cleaning up toddler messes, spends the other half wishing her daughter would play by herself so she could get something done, occasionally spends quality time with her husband, cooks dinner maybe once a week, would rather text someone than talk to them, has only 3 meager totes of food storage, has never done genealogy work, has never been to the cannery, watches too many hopeless romantic love stories, and is pretty much addicted to diet pepsi.”

Negativity aside, I have high hopes and all the desire in the world for November to be, like the movie titled, Sweet November. I am dedicating myself today to get out of this rut. I am dedicating to myself to change my attitude, my outlook on life, and the simple choices I make every day. I know I am the only one who can allow myself to be happy. I am feeling the energy start to fester deep down inside and can visualize a good start to a new me.
The end.

And this is why my shoulder is ruined.....

Look how huge this girl grew.

I would like to know how the rest of you manage these little buggers and the stress it puts on your joints. No, I don't hold Berkely all day, but for some reason, I have the most intense left shoulder injury. When I saw this picture of how big she is, I just thought, "hmmm, it makes sense." I try to hold her in front, switch sides, etc, but really I am pretty sure this shoulder injury will stay with me to the grave. Darn.

I haven't had any time to scrap lately, I am very behind, but I did manage to pull a few pictures from our 2 weeks ago Hogle Zoo trip. I had to travel to SLC for school/work stuff, so Allie, Sara, Jordan, and Berkely tagged along and we made a little vacation out of it. The long drive in the car with Berkely was almost enough to send me straight to the loony bin, she is NOT a car rider, but besides that we managed pretty well.

I'll give you some one-liner updates since I never post anymore and I feel bad, but my ramblings are annoying.

-Berkely calls Katie "SHI-SHEEEY" (sissy), because that is what I call my sister who lives with us, so funny.

-She hates all fruits and veggies at this point in time, thus the screaming in pain while going "SHTINKEE" (#2 stinky)

-I am loving the Fall TV shows namely Biggest Loser, The Office, SYTYCD, and my new favorite Glee.

-Berkely goes to nursery in 3 weeks, can I get a "woo,woo"

-I have not worked in Berk's scrapbook, baby book, or edited her videos in like 5 months, and I fear I will never be able to catch up.

-I can't wait to go to never ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden tomorrow for Sara's Birthday.

-I haven't been on facebook in like a month, and feel so out of the loop.

-I am such a bad friend and can't believe I have let other stresses in life take me from visiting Krystal up north when I am there, and lunches with friends down here. Sorry guys.

-Played tennis with Sam last week and beat him for the first time since we've been married 3 games to 2. (we are too competitive, but it's good for us!)

-I am ready to pay someone to clean out my garage, shed, and my car weekly. (any takers?)

-We groove to Black Eyed Peas "I've got a feeling" at least 2 times a day.

-I DVRd general conference and watched it later. I could fast forward through the choir, is that awful?

-I went to a super fun craft night at Jenns last night. We should do that every month. I have always wanted to have a craft club. Who's in?

OkayOkay...I'll Post!

I know I have been SLACKING HUGE when it comes to the blog world. But, don't you fret, when this blog is put on the back burner, I can promise I have still remained busy (probably too busy), and now you will get slammed with an update. I won't be too long winded, well maybe I shouldn't say that now, who knows what this will turn into. For journaling purposes (which means, I know this will probably be annoying to most of you unless you are going to be my posterity), I will just go with the basic events that have "came to pass" over the past 4 weeks that I have not "blogged."

I turned 27....sigh. It was a great day. Sam took me to Springdale for dinner and a movie. He got me flowers, and my family came to party. Dad and I share an Aug. Birthday so we both celebrated our birthdays. Pictionary was hilarious. Mom's cake was YUMMY. One year older. Crazy. I love short sentences.

My new job is kicking my bootie. Well, not really, it is just really busy busy busy, which I guess is good. I love being able to be with Berk at home, but I hate that my house is a disaster, my pajamas are always on, and my eyes burn from the computer screen. But, we'll get used to it. I won't bore you with the crazy details of the job, but for my UTVA friends, "What is the SCRANTON test!" LoL

I won our weight loss challenge and walked away with 300 smack-a-roos. Lost 24 pounds and 27 inches. It felt pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I am now helping with other wellness challenges, and LOVE being a wellness coach and working with friends and family members to acheive health related goals. It is a lot of work, but I really find joy in watching others succeed and fight daily through their own struggles. It is fun to share it with others, plus it keeps me motivated as well.

Berkely is just growing right up. She is 16 months old and in FULL SWING of toddler-hood. She is getting more hair to play with, which is fun! She can just jabber jabber and tell us all the animal sounds, family names, sing Old McDonald and PopCorn Popping, and just loves playing with her BABEEEE (baby.). We are basically the best of friends and although my shoulder is damaged to the core, I still love holding her, cuddling her, and putting one-sies on her. She is FINE after that crazy fall, sorry I didn't update that sooner. She is learning how to throw major fits, cry when she doesn't get her way...real tears...quivering lips, and tests my patience daily. I love how she says PEESE (please) when I am drinking a protein shake because she wants some. I love how she folds her arms first thing when she sits in her high chair. I know one day I will GREATLY MISS these days, of just her and me! (moment of silence...) I know I probably don't act like it, when I tell everyone how exhausted I am, and how much she is a stinker, but I don't know what I would do with out this daughter of mine.

My sis. Kate (Kay--Tee as berk would say) moved in. TONS OF FUN!! Now I have a friend. She is amazing and I sure love her. She is so great to have around. I love that she is helping me clean my house, helps with Berk, and is there to walk around the block or do a video with. Hey, if you have anyone to set her up on a date with, let me know, I want her to find a nice guy. She won't care that I just blogged that, I promise.

Besides that, nothing else is really going on. We are pretty routine around here, and haven't really done anything worthy of a blog post.

Hello Doctor...

Hello Doctor,

My name is Berkely Seymour. Today my mom let me climb all over the bathroom counter, playing with my toys, and grabbing all of her makeup. Well, I am only 15 months old, and tend to be a little clumsy, and I fell all the way down the horrifying 4 feet and landed smack on my back and head. My bum, back, and head all hit the tile at the same time. I immediately started screaming, and Mommy picked me up. She held me and tried to calm me down, but my body was in shock. I turned pale white and my eyes rolled in the back of my head for a few seconds. Mommy shouted for Heavenly Father to help me and I came back, luckilly I didn't go unconscious. For the next 15 minutes, I cried and sat in Mommy's lap while she prayed and prayed and prayed for me. Daddy rushed home from work to see if I was okay. I was still pale white, extremelly sad, and didn't know what to think. My body just hurt! Mommy fed me ice chips for another ten minutes. She was so worried, she just kept crying and blaming herself for my injury. Mommy was really scared that I had a brain injury or concussion. She drove me to church and had a member in our ward, who is a nurse, look at me and he said I looked fine. He said to watch me for the next while and make sure I didn't vomit or get soft bumps on my head. Mommy's primary friends bailed her out (again) by doing her sharing time, so she could take me home and make sure I was okay. I went to sleep, and woke up an hour and a half later screaming in pain. I cried for 20 minutes. Mommy gave me ibprofin. Daddy gave me a blessing. The home teachers even came to check up on me. They checked my eyes to see if they were still dialating. After about another 30 minutes, I was back to the same old Berkely getting into everything and running around. I think I am okay. I am fast asleep now dreaming of doggies and babies, but my mommy still feels awful. I think she has cried more today than she has the whole time I have known her as my mom. She promises to never leave me unattended, even for a split second, on a high counter. I hope I am okay. Maybe I will come visit you at your office in a couple days if Mommy feels like I need to be checked out. Okay, have a great day, See ya! Love, Berkely Seymour

No one mourns the.....

....WICKED!!

Katie bought me an early BDAY gift and got me a ticket to Wicked in San Diego. What a fun weekend we had (2 weeks ago). We were able to catch up on much needed sister time and feel young again! We played at the beach all day Saturday and drove home. It was a quick trip, but the "most fun!" I loved the entire cast and will always remember it. Thanks sis! I am still peeling from the sun burn. It is so hard to tell if you are getting fried when it is overcast and cool. Why didn't I escape and live in California after High School? It was so beautiful at the beach. I am still wondering?

Wellness Club

I just had to tell everyone that we are starting a new Wellness Club, next Tuesday, the 11th.

I joined it 10 weeks ago and have dropped 20 pounds. It is crazy how much I needed this club, and how something FINALLY worked for me. We meet once a week, weigh in (for accountability), and have simple lessons on health and wellness. I love being able to learn from other peoples struggles, complain about my own, and know that I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! I love that my battle with my weight doesn't have to be hidden in the closet. Truly if you want to have better health in your life, you should come. No money, just friends. You can pay to do the challenge, 34 bucks, if you really want even more motivation to lose weight, but you don't have to pay a single dime. We are having it at my Wellness Coach's house in Hurricane, on Tuesdays at 6pm, starting next Tuesday. August 11. I am attaching a little flyer. The best thing about the club is the escape from home and feeling like you finally get to focus on you. Sometimes we neglect balancing "us" into the equation of life, but if we keep "forgetting" to, than we will end up on an unhealthy path to pain and old age...yuck! Call, text, or email me for any more information. beckyseymour1@gmail.com

It goes for 12 weeks, so by Christmas we will be SMOKIN' HOT, I mean, feeling really great about ourselves!

Exciting News....

No, I am not pregnant....I will stop that thought right now.


I got a new job! I am a K-5 teacher for the Utah Virtual Online Academy. What an exciting new thing for me. (that's an understatement!) It is a full time job 8-5, but 90% of my duties are done from home. I have 90 students all over the state that I teach. Although I am brand new, I have been learning about UTVA and its K12 curriculum, and I am so happy to be apart of an amazing school that meets every individual student's needs. It is really hard to describe, but if you really are interested in this virtual learning for you kids, let me know, I can share all the info. It is still a public school, lots of awesome materials are sent to your home, it is just done at home and with more family, hands-on, interaction, done at the student's own pace. http://www.k12.com/. The curriculum is so dynamic, I can't believe I have been in education this long and haven't seen this. I can definitely say that I will do this type of school for Berkely, and probably have her go to a public "brick and mortar" school for a couple hours a day (mostly for social interaction), but we'll see.





I am sad to leave Three Falls Elementary and all my friends. I will miss daily hugs from the little ones.

But, I am so excited to be with my Berkely at home, and am ready for a new challenge in life.

This is my little teacher scrap book page, and the "club" that I am going to be in charge of. I wanted to post some pictures with this post. Thanks Shannon for all your endless help with getting this job. I wanted to give you a SHOUT OUT!